moved

Reading Ann's words today I am moved. I am left questioning everything. I have seen all this before- I've been there, walked through those streets, played with those children, lived in the filth, drank the dirty water. Not in Guatemala, but in other places in Central and South America, in Africa, Eastern Europe, Asia... I was only a child then (in my teens) and always had the promise of "home" a few weeks or maybe months away.

It has been years since I left all that is comfortable to me. Nearly 15 years to be exact and as I read Ann's words today I wonder if I would even be willing to give up all the things that make my life so comfortable today and when did I start feeling like I "deserved" any of this? My heart feels hard and calloused and I hate the cynicism that has found it's home there. I have to confess that I have been avoiding reading Ann's posts because I knew that they would cut deep and I just did not want to face it. And now I am faced with the choice to ignore the singe and go back to life, unaffected, or allow God to turn this heart of stone back to flesh.

Ezekiel 11:19
I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

Lord, give me an undivided heart for you!